A New Day, and a New Chapter
In some ways, today feels like the first day of the rest of my life. Not like it did when I got sober. I don’t think anything will feel like the first day of sobriety after surrending to the death grips that addiction had on me. Or like the moment that I met Wilder and they took their first breath on my chest. But this, it feels like a moment I’m going to look back on and see as a turning point. A lauching place where I begin wading through the fears that have held me back for so many years.
Today I started wading through those fears and toward the next miracle in life.
When I found out I was pregnant, I set out to become an influencer motivational speaker with a very small platform of less than eight thousand people. Over the course of the last year, that platform has grown beyond my wildest dreams. It’s opened doors and put me right where I need to be in order to become the influencer I one day hope to become.
But I haven’t been the role model and influencer that I want to be over this past year. I know many of you have enjoyed being on this journey with us and I’m absolutely proud of how I have shown up. And also, there are so many more things that I have wanted to do that I haven’t had the spoons or space for.
But today that changed.
Today I took a leap of faith and invested in my worth and a work space where I can sit and write, and record, and edit, and connect and so many other things that I’ve been eagerly waiting for the capacity to do.
It’s the most beautiful space and the beginning of something really, really beautiful. I can tell by the goosebumps it gives me as soon as I walk in. Watch and you’ll see.
But that’s not it.
This is where I’m laughing in fear. We’re officially moving and found the perfect home in Portland. I’m spending the next month moving with a one year old and I’m scared. ha. I’m so tired simply going through the day-to-day routines that moving from the only home my baby has ever known (and was born in) feels hard and scary. But so did transitioning. So did getting sober. So did having a baby. Things that feel hard and scary to do, I’ve found, often lead to the most beauty. And this is simply one of them and is without a doubt the next right move for us.
Where there is fear, there is also excitement. I’m so excited for what in just around the corner. But do you know what I’ve even more excited for?
To be right here, exactly where I am in this moment. Honoring the person who I am and all of the ways that I’m showing up rather than the ways I’m not. Sure, one day I’ll do all of the things that I want to do with my platform and voice. But three years ago I was homeless living in an RV, while struggling with a meth addiction and today I officially have a work space permeant home in a new city, all thanks to sobriety.
I’m so excited to share this journey with you all. Buckle up.