Are You Single?
Look, this has been the number one asked question over these last few months. Well, this along with, “are you still moving to Portland?” I want to take a moment to address these questions in hopes of it ending the influx of them.
I’ve been avoiding this question out of privacy and also because well, I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m single, probably? But what I do know, is that I reacted poorly and emotionally immaturely to a situation that led to time and space. What I know is that feelings of disappointment (which is an old, deeply rooted trigger for me) triggered my breaking point and that right now, I’m not capable of letting go of certain expectations. And as so many of you out there are aware, expectations only lead to resentments and are dangerous for this recovering addict. So, sometimes the universe does for us what we are not able to do for ourselves and creates boundaries and walls around those we need space from until we are able to let go ourselves.
But this is where I want to make you to feel a shift, because unlike society has led us to believe, taking space and doing work on ourselves is so important and makes relationships stronger and more healthy. That it is and can be a good thing, especially if we are able to do the growth space presents. You see, when we don’t make someone else our everything and have other support, it makes taking space feel far less heavy and scary. Space can feel exciting and in fact, opens doors for even more opportunities.
Sometimes people come back together after doing some growth and sometimes they don’t. But what I do know and wholeheartedly believe, is that when something is meant to be, eventually it will be. And when you find you twin flame, you better buckle up, and enjoy the ride. But for now, I’m focused on this growth that I get to do that will inevitably impact those relationships in positive ways. My hope and dream is that when the time is right and the growth has happened, reconnection can as well.
My focus first and foremost right now is getting well and tending to my mental health, which has been tucked away in the shadows for too long right now. Right now, I get to show Wilder how important it is to care for ourselves and how it’s ok to press pause on relationships to do that work. I want Wilder to see the importance of self-care and how it impacts our relationships and our ability to show up for others. I want Wilder to experience the joy that can home from heartache when that heartache presents opportunities and to jump on them regardless of who joins them for the ride.
One of the other triggers for my PPP break was the added stress of moving away from the farm, a place where I feel deeply connected to. Although I was and am excited about the idea of living in Portland one day, what I also know is that the universe has already reassured me that I am exactly where we are supposed to be. Stay tuned for some super exciting news about how the farm is growing! Just was we all should be.
Danny (and Wilder)