Pain, and Relief. Grief, and Gratitude.

What do you do when what you want is vastly different than what you need? Or when what you need to do brings you much needed relief, but also with it, pain and grief? I want to take a moment to talk about what I’d do, while it’s weighing heavy on my heart. You see,…

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The Birth of a Dream

Ok,  a lot of you probably noticed that I didn’t share Wilder’s birth story on my blog yet, like I had planned. It’s mostly ready to go, it’s my heart that isn’t. I thought that I too was ready, but when I sat down to publish it here I heard my grandmother yell, “STOP!” And…

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Healing from Vaginal Tears

Now, let’s talk about the healing process. My main goal in sharing this is to help lessen fear, not increase it.   But before we do, I don’t want to sugar coat things. Yes, my baby quite literally split my yaya right open when I shot them through the burning ring of fire, and even…

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Tearing During Childbirth

I want to take a moment to talk about a topic that I have yet to since giving birth, and that was tearing while giving birth. Below are photos that I have never shown and include some pretty graphic images and blood, just as warning. While giving birth to Wilder, I tore and ended up…

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It Was Positive!

It was positive. I knew it would be, but it was REALLY positive and it hit me just how far along I was. Eight weeks to be exact, which I found out the next week at my first OB apt. When I walked out of the bathroom and told Kristie, both of us stood in…

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A Birth and a Sacred Story

I’ve held onto most of this sacred story for a year now, holding it like the newborn it was.  Just as you too, were once my newborn. Something that feels so long ago and yet I can feel your warm, squishy body being placed on mine as if it were just seconds ago. I’m still…

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Birthing a Tiny Human is EXHAUSTING.

I’m not sure how, but it has been almost a year since this moment. A year since this level of exhaustion and moment of deep relief were present. When I think back at this moment, I remember feeling myself shifting from being both in and out of my body. That’s the thing about my natural…

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A Trip Fueled By Grief.

I want to take a moment to talk about something that has been getting heavier and heavier for me to carry around; my grief. I’ve dreamed of being a new parent most of my life, but never expected it to go this way. Now, I’m not talking about things not going the way I thought…

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Hi, I’m Glad You’re Here.

For years and years I’ve wanted to utilize a blog as a form of healing but also, a way of creating connection through sharing challenges and joining each other in our joys. One thing or another has held me back though, just as something held me back from writing twice this past week. Now, instead…

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How Medication Saved Mine, and My Babies Life

Content ⚠️: Talk of Postpartum psychosis, suicide ideation.   For years and years I’ve rejected medication out of fear. I know, I know what you are probably thinking. I’m a recovering addict who used to smoke meth and I’m afraid of putting legal medications into my system?! At least, this is what I would have…

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