Celebrating Trans Parents Day!
When I began my gender transition eleven years ago, the doctors told me that I should freeze my eggs if I ever wanted to have biological children. I did not freeze any of my eggs because at the time, the option was not financially accessible for me. But you see, I’m someone who has always wanted to carry my child, but have also known that I am very much not a woman. I thought that in order to find my true authentic self, that I’d have to give up my dream of giving birth.
But sometimes when we think that our dreams are shattered, they are only shattered in society’s eyes. But in my eyes, dreams don’t shatter, they simply shift and look a bit different. Society told me and continues to try to tell me that only women give birth. But my dreams and my life have told me differently.
The beautiful thing about my transition, is that the doctors were wrong.
Transitioning and coming home to my body only made me want to carry a child more. As I felt more at peace with body I knew that I wanted to become a home to another. In 2020, the universe decided my time had come and I became pregnant just as the world shut down due to COVID.
While pregnant, I felt euphoria that wouldn’t have felt had I waited to transition before having kids. I needed to feel at home in my body in order to be a home for another.
But because of society’s rigid gender roles and the boxes our bodies are placed in at birth, it never occurred to me that I could transition and then carry my child. I never realized that I could find my true authentic self as a Transgender/non-binary person and still give birth. That is, until I began my transition and started to see other visible trans parents who carried their children.
When I found out that I was pregnant with Wilder, I made the conscious decision that I would be visible throughout my pregnancy and parenting journey so that my community had more visible examples of our dreams coming true and of trans joy.
Being a sober Trans/non-binary parent is the greatest joy of my life. It’s a joy that defeated the odds and found its way to love no matter what society had to say. It’s a joy that deserves celebrating.
To my fellow Trans and Non-binary parents, I hope today you are able to do something to celebrate YOU and the beautiful families you have created.
Danny (and Wilder)