Finding Passion Beyond Parenting
Hello my sweet community!
It’s been a while since I’ve written or posted here and want to do a quick check-in.
The truth is, I feel lost. I mean, when it comes to parenting and raising Wilder, I feel like I’m doing a rockstar job and am totally on track. Wilder is thriving and I have a hand in that. But that is literally all that I do, is parent. I feel lost when it comes to knowing who I am anymore or what I want to do in life. My dreams are big, but reaching them feels so hard right now and like I’m stuck in quick sand. My days are spent staying sober, parenting, and working just enough to continue to provide for the basic needs of my child.
As a person in early recovery, I’m trying to figure out how to navigate finding my own interests and passions alongside with balancing being a single parent. Some days it feels as isolating as active addiction did (but never as hard). Since losing my heart (and retired service) dog, life has felt especially lonely and even more so like I’m floundering out here. Jersey was more than just a pet, she was a companion that led me through a lot of my darkness. I don’t ever want Wilder to carry the weight of finding me out of that darkness, so I’ve been catapulted into a place of unexpected healing. A place that has led to craving connection and relationships, and more checking-in’s here. Some will be short check-in’s and some long, but always about simply showing up.
Sometimes we just need to feel a little lost together. And sometimes, all it takes is a little bit of connection to clear all of the darkness away.
In the mean time I’m manifesting another companion, but not in dog or human form. My heart knows what it needs next and my soul can feel that it’s close. Stay tuned to see who joins our flock next. And thank you for still being here everyone. Your support is felt even from afar.
Today I strive to create time for my own passions, along with parenting.
Danny (and Wilder)
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I think your feelings are normal for the parent of a toddler, although made much more intense by being in recovery and having lost your dear dog friend. I remember feeling totally swallowed up by single parenting at that point 40 years ago. This is a time to dream and plan while caring for your sweet little one and reaching out to keep up your connections with all those people who exert a positive influence in your life. Just keep Working on a visualization of where you want to go, and take baby steps in that direction whenever you can, being patient with yourself in the process. Before you know it, Wilder will be in school and you will have more time to pursue your vision. You have at least 50 more years to complete your life’s work, you don’t have to know everything about its direction right now.
Thank you for your honesty always. I found that with each of my kids there was a submersion of myself for several years. Finally when the youngest turned around 4, I suddenly had a surge of creativity and the energy to back it up. I think the early years are for patience and faith that things will get….different. Intrigued that you feel a new soul coming your way. That’s exciting.