I want to take a moment to talk about a topic that I have yet to since giving birth, and that was tearing while giving birth. Below are photos that I have never shown and include some pretty graphic images and blood, just as warning. While giving birth to Wilder, I tore and ended up…
Read More >>It was positive. I knew it would be, but it was REALLY positive and it hit me just how far along I was. Eight weeks to be exact, which I found out the next week at my first OB apt. When I walked out of the bathroom and told Kristie, both of us stood in…
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I’ve held onto most of this sacred story for a year now, holding it like the newborn it was. Just as you too, were once my newborn. Something that feels so long ago and yet I can feel your warm, squishy body being placed on mine as if it were just seconds ago. I’m still…
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I’m not sure how, but it has been almost a year since this moment. A year since this level of exhaustion and moment of deep relief were present. When I think back at this moment, I remember feeling myself shifting from being both in and out of my body. That’s the thing about my natural…
Read More >>I want to take a moment to talk about something that has been getting heavier and heavier for me to carry around; my grief. I’ve dreamed of being a new parent most of my life, but never expected it to go this way. Now, I’m not talking about things not going the way I thought…
Read More >>For years and years I’ve wanted to utilize a blog as a form of healing but also, a way of creating connection through sharing challenges and joining each other in our joys. One thing or another has held me back though, just as something held me back from writing twice this past week. Now, instead…
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Content ⚠️: Talk of Postpartum psychosis, suicide ideation. For years and years I’ve rejected medication out of fear. I know, I know what you are probably thinking. I’m a recovering addict who used to smoke meth and I’m afraid of putting legal medications into my system?! At least, this is what I would have…
Read More >>What I’ve found is, that being a parent changes absolutely everything. I knew this at some level, but experiencing in it life is far different than acknowledging it on a logical level. I know, you’re probably like, “duh, Danny.” But hear me out. You see, sometimes I get stuck, and maybe you do too? What…
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It’s 2am and I can’t sleep, but that’s not out of the ordinary. Sleep is something that has been hard to come by for almost two years now. But this time, when I roll over or simply just open my eyes, I don’t see my baby next to me. There is no tiny human squeezing…
Read More >>I’m alive, but I’m unwell. I’m sober, but I’m suffering. Baby, is safe with someone else. I’m standing, but I’m shaking. I’m swimming, but still sinking. Baby, is safe with someone else. I’m lost, within the fog. I’m not me, I don’t know where I’ve gone. Baby, is safe with…
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